Posted in comedy, lovey-dovey shit

Single Pringles

*fun fact* My favorite (aka the best and only one that should exist) Pringles flavor is Sour Cream and Onion, just like my dad!

Hello blog. If you know anything about me, you know that I am not the luckiest in the ways of *love*. I’m quite shit at it actually. I fall fast, I throw myself into people who don’t care half as much, and I generally just am clueless when it comes to the whole situation. The worst part of it all is that no matter how hard I try to push it down, I am a hopeless (in every sense of the word) romantic.

Yes, I love love. Or, the idea of it anyways…

This being said, I am also okay with being alone. Contradictory right?

Today, I got dumped-without-actually-dating-the-person-because-they-have-commitment-issues yet again. Third time around for me actually… This is not going to be a post bashing him and every minuscule fault he may have had though, I’m kinda tired of drama and reaching for exes – been there, done that

This post is going to be an ode to singularity, showcasing all the amazing and downright blissful sides of being “alone.”

First, let’s talk about the term “being alone” because if you are anything like me… being single and being alone are two very different things. Single is the absence of a romantic partner, while alone means having nobody. I am lucky enough to have a best friend who I love and I know she will probably never leave me and we will be old ladies living out our days in Squamish, BC. I also have an amazing group of friends aside from this one who help me with many different opinions and takes on how to handle life. I have my family, and most importantly I have two beautiful kitties (Lucy and Bean) to cry into when it gets hard.

Now for a list of some of the coolio things I love about being single.

  • Spend your damn money on you and only you. (with the exception of cats)
  • The whole bed
  • Dancing around your room in your pajamas to Single Ladies and believing every word. you could also do this at the club… you know if you have a social life.
  • Going exploring alone…
  • No anxious, self-doubting thoughts like “do they like me?” or “am i keeping them interested enough that they don’t want to cheat on me?”
  • Not having to plan when you’re going to see each other next.
  • Falling in love with things other than a significant other. who ever said it was pathetic to fall in love with a cupcake or the perfect reading chair?
  • Going to bookstores alone…
  • You can purely enjoy love stories in books and movies because you have nothing to compare it to, therefore not getting jealous and signing up for endless couples bonding activities to get you and your S.O. to peak “The Notebook” romance.
  • Focus on work. Actually.
  • You can be angry and not have to explain yourself… just be angry and brood for as long as you need with no “babe what did i do?” being asked at you only making you more angry
  • Not having to feel guilty for daydreaming about that cute girl with the orange eye shadow smiling at you on the bus, or the guy who reached for a book over your head in the library and you saw some skin..!
  • Being “casual” doesn’t mean you are less of a person, it’s okay to have some fun once and a while.
  • you.do.not.have.to.care.about.someone.else’s.feelings. (all the time.)

SO…!

Be happy being single, find things you take for granted when you are just you because in the blink of an eye, you will become a “them” (S.O.) and maybe even a “posse” (kids and S.O.)

ALicia.

 

 

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Posted in comedy, idk., News

Whipped Cream was on Sale.

So, on my break from the dusty hell that is Dollarama, I went over to the grocery store and bought some goddamn $5 Ontario strawberries. Yes, poor money choices… I am going to end up homeless if I continue to spend like this… I know I know. But anyway, I had to go back to work right after bought said strawberries. SO, I shoved them in my backpack to let them get real smooshy.

After work, I decided something was going to be missing from my night. I already had my berries, but where was the cream? Not in my backpack, that’s for sure. On my walk across the bright ass parking lot into the darkness, I stopped in at Food Basics. Where, knew there was whipped cream on sale. This was to be the theoretical cherry atop my sundae. Or, just you know the whipped cream on top… who actually eats the cherries on top anyway?

Getting off topic here, as I walked into a very-empty-and-kind-of-depressing Ancaster Food Basics I started to think of ways I could explain why I was buying just a singular can of whip cream at 9:30 at night.

Here, are my overzealously (probably not a word) thought ways to explain my singular whipped cream canister.

  • The truth, I was using it to be eaten with my $5 strawberries. Just reminding you that I am crazy and bought $5 strawberries.
  • The obvious, to anyone under 30. Some sort of whipped cream *bikini maybe* sex act. I should look into this now, for… research.
  • I was buying it for my dying grandmother as her last wish.
  • I had just gotten dumped and planned on just squirting it in my mouth all night. But, the major plot hole in this excuse is if I had really been planning on doing this with the cream, I would need like 4 or 5 cans to mask my feelings with a sugar high.
  • Katy Perry circa “California Gurls music video” tit canisters.

Once the whipped cream and I locked eyes, I knew it was meant to be… Until I looked at the price. $4 for name brand or $2.49 for on-sale-no-name-brand, I had already spent $5 on goddamn strawberries *which were still being smooshed in my backpack by a tiny bag of “got to keep them alive until payday” cat food* so I was not at liberty to spend whatever I please on whipped cream.

Plus, I am a cheap bastard by nature.

So, me and the on sale *not “light less sugar diet shit air” * whipped cream strolled up to the cashier and I put it on the counter. The cashier looked at me funny. Then I looked at her, then she looked from the lonely can of cream to me and back to the cream. I knew what she was thinking. Being me, I blurted out… “I have strawberries I swear” and she looked at me and smiled, “I’m glad you said that, because my mind was going… well where yours was too probably.” And she was right. So, I paid, not before blabbering incessantly at her and reassuring her of the existence of the strawberries, and walked out the sliding doors.

That is the end of this weird little story. I just felt this needed to be shared for some reason. So, bye.

*blares California Gurls in her room, alone, with ($5) strawberries and whipped cream falling out of her mouth as she lip syncs and dances around her room*

Posted in comedy, idk., News

Residual Leprechaun Magic.

Hello there blog, it’s your favorite redhead here… *who never posts*

As many of you know, it was St.Patricks Day on Friday, and aside from drunkenness it also represents Ireland and luck and such. Luck + Ireland = Leprechauns.

Anyway, I think there may have been some sort of a mix-up after the St.Paddy’s shenanigans because here I am in the Hamilton Public Library surrounded by not one, but TWO other redheads. Naturally, the first reason that pops into my head is magical.

You see, I believe that these other redheads are secretly Leprechauns who neglected to go back to the rainbow-land (where leprechauns live) because they were too damn hungover to care. Makes sense right?

No, not really Alicia… You sound insane as usual.

Now, here I sit, in a trifecta of ginger magic thinking I missed a memo or something because when I walked into the HPL today to do some school work… I did not expect to see some of my fellow two-percent.

In order to have red hair, a person must possess the MC1R gene, which is recessive and only occurs in about 2 percent of the world’s population, says the National Institutes of Health.

Pleasantness.

Anyway, I just felt this was something you needed to know.

Bye.

 

Posted in comedy, idk., News

Let’s Break some Resolutions!

So.

It’s 2017.

I had started to write another post last year (hahhahaha) in 2016 about my new year’s resolutions and how my 2016 was. BUT I was just trying to finish it this morning in 2017 and it didn’t feel good so here I am writing a brand spankin new blog post for 2017, starting the year off right.

I am sick, and I spent my New Year’s Eve with friends, I’ll let you try and decipher if these “friends” were feline or not.  Hint: they were.

I did not kiss anyone again.

Surprise.

But anyway, let’s just get on to the resolutions that I am sure to break in this new year, probably within the first month.

  • Remember its 2017 now, and write the correct year on things.
  • Try not to become a mutant Godzilla-like thing and destroy a whole city.
  • Learn to drive. Get G2, time is running out, you only have three years left until your G1 expires.
  • Move out? Or become able to…
  • Anxiety controlling, because I was one of the seemingly millions of people who figured out they have anxiety in 2016. Now I have to figure out how to handle it.
  • Do well in school and enjoy learning.
  • Get in a Relationship? (lol)
  • Fall in Love with Everything I Can.

Now that that’s over, let’s see how I did with last year’s resolutions…

_________________________________________________________________

  1. As always, to try my very best to not go completely insane one day and become so possessed by anger that I become some sort of redheaded gorilla and attack a city.

Did I do? I think I can check this one off, I may have been a little crazy at points in 2016, but there was no gorilla-ing happening.

  1. Write more.

I think I did this one, I wrote and at least tried to be a good blog owner. Tried.

  1. Graduate High school.

Fuck yeah, I did this one, as commemorated by this horrid but like cute
picture my dad took of me accepting a random piece of paper that wasn’t even my diploma it was just paper.

GRADUATING.jpg

  1. Change; just a little bit. (I know I will do this, it happens every year.)

Yup.

  1. Maybe find a boy to hypnotize and drug so he will fall in love with my beautiful monkey of a self and become my boyfriend. (There’s always got to be a completely unattainable one — I will be just as single next year as I am now.) *Laugh-cries*

Working on it.

  1. Snuggle my cats against their free will more.

You know I did this one.

  1. Idk do something cool.

Yeah, I did some cool stuff in 2016.

_________________________________________________________________

Anyway, I don’t know how to end this as usual, but thank you to anyone who read this blog at all in 2016, all three of you 😛

 

Posted in comedy, idk.

hello we are on a date now

There’s no capitals in that title.

I’m going to be rebellious and not change it.

Eff you, grammar and sentence structure!

Okay now that has been addressed for no apparent reason but the fact that it’s the only thing I could think to start this shitstorm with.

I have been using the word shitstorm too much in my life and writing; it is becoming a problem.

SO.

Topics… Topics…

OH okay I have a fun little idea. Since it is now NOVEMBER and that means that December is coming soon and I’m not ready for a new year full of I don’t even know what; lets do a “Who are you?” kind of thing.

OR like we are on a date and you are asking me this stuff and I am rambling on for fifty years until I make you unwillingly grow old with me because I just wont shut up.

Yes I am a blogging genius.

*googles questions to ask a girl*

*clicks on first or second article*

*it was the first one*

Here we go.

Hello. My name is Alicia and I am on a date with you, a human.

I got these questions from https://lifehacks.io/questions-to-ask-a-girl/

I literally copied and pasted them so all of the wording is what was on the website and I am going to answer accordingly.

Let’s actually get started now.

 

“What are your secret skills?”

Well, all I have to say for this first one is that my secret skills are so secret that I don’t even know what they are.

“What was your favorite childhood toy?”

Well this one is hard because I actually had two favourite childhood toys. SO, because this is my fictional date and I get to make up the rules *I love power* I am going to tell you about both. As a child, my favourite toys were wooden spoons and grasses. No I did not grow up in the forest, I had lots of conventional toys and lived in a small-town suburb about an hour and a half from Toronto, Ontario. SO, I had lots of normal things to play with but instead I would steal all my mother’s good wooden spoons, “dress them up” in Kleenexes and tape, and would prance around my backyard pretending these spoons were princesses. As for the grasses, I would either pretend those were also princesses (minus the Kleenex dresses) or I would sit alone at lunch in elementary school and make nests for the birds.

No wonder nobody talked to me.

“What was the best gift you’ve ever given to someone?”

Umm… Well you see I am a very forgetful person so my gifts (if I remember one at all) are usually $20 stuffed in a Dollarama card involving a fart joke and shoving that mess in a person’s face. According to my mum, I did buy her a present once (with my babysitting money) and it was a book called “100 Wines to Try Before You Die.” Good job 12-year-old Alicia, buy your mum a book about drinking and then dying. Daughter of the year.

“What is the most embarrassing that happened to you in primary school?”

Well aside from the aforementioned making-nests-from-grass-at-lunch-thing, I did lots of embarrassing things in elementary school. One being when I was a lunch monitor in grades 5 and 6, on pizza day I would watch all the ungrateful little rich kids throw out WHOLE SLICES OF PIZZA into the garbage can. I, being me, did not stand for this and my mum always taught me to not waste food so when all the kids would leave, I would take some completely untouched pizza slices from the top of the garbage can pile. I still do not see the problem with this because

  • There were no bites taken from said slices
  • They were on top of a bunch of other pizza slices so there was no actual garbage-can-to-pizza-slice contact
  • I wanted pizza

Anyway, this isn’t really embarrassing anymore for me but at the time I was terrified of getting caught.

“What would you grab if your house was on fire?”

My cats.

“What is your destination for the trip of your dreams?”

I don’t really know, somewhere in Europe probably. I don’t like the heat and I’m not a fan of beaches and partying all day.

“When you were little, what did you want to be when you grow up? And do you still want it?”

Ahh, my childhood dream job. The magical time when everyone wanted to be a doctor, lawyer, an astronaut or even a princess! Yeah. That wasn’t me. I wanted to work at Subway. I do not know why as I don’t even like Subway that much. As an 18-year-old though, I do not still want to work at Subway. 10-year-old me would be crushed.

“If you got stuck in the elevator and was forced to listen to only one song, which would it be?”

Secrets by OneRepublic.

 

“What was your worst job?”

I have only ever had one job, at Dollarama. I still work there so I guess it is both my best and worst job.

“What is the best advice anyone has ever given you?”

A constantly implied “Do what makes you happy” from my mum.

“Which social game was your favorite while growing up?”

This one is hard… You see, I didn’t play games with other people. I did not play MASH or do those clapping song games or skipped or played 4-square or anything. I sat alone a lot and was ok with it. I had my Harry Potter and Mariokart.

“If you could live anywhere, where would it be?”

Hamilton, Ontario.

“How do you treat people who annoy you for no reason?”

Either figure out why they annoy me and work it out or just ignore them. I don’t have time for unnecessary negativity in my life.

“Would you go with me …?”

Yes. Probably. But you have to deal with my crippling trust issues and inablity to say I Love You to people’s faces.

“What have you learned from your past relationship?”

That I should stop caring what other people thought of me. And that I am prettier when I smile.

“What is the most important thing that guys should understand about a girl, and it seems to you that they do not understand?”

Girls just want your attention. They want to know you are there and you care even just a little bit about them. I think. I mean, I kinda suck at girls so ask your girl what she wants, we always tell you; just listen.

“Who is your best friend?”

Nope.

“Would you like to change something about me?”

Nope. Unless you are stupidly negative then go away.

“With what phrases guys were trying to conquer you?”

I don’t even know what this means.

“What does your name mean?”

From Urban Dictionary: A beautiful girl who’s smart, honest and gentle, but she can also be aggressive. She likes to make random noises. She has eyes that sparkle under the light and sometimes change color but are usually green. She loves chocolate. She rarely feels fear, she has rosy cheeks and always seems to have a gorgeous smile on her face. She’s not afraid of her sexuality. Although her hands always seem to be cold her heart is very warm, and her kiss gives a feeling like no other.

“If you could jump into a pool full of something, what would it be?”

Water. Other things could be very dangerous and I have lots of anxiety so I will stick with my normal water pool thanks.

 

Questions You Should Never Ask a Girl (according to this website):

BUT I am going to answer them anyway

  1. How old are you?            18
  2. How much do you weigh?           145-ish
  3. Are they really yours?    yes
  4. Do you think I’m handsome?      sure
  5. Are you in your periods?             Nope

 

Okay this is way too long so congrats if you made it this far.

Here is a chocolate bar.

Somewhere.

Can’t you see it?

images

Okay I’m done

Bye

Posted in comedy, idk.

Flibbertyniblets and the Rainbow Pizza

Hello and I just want to let you know that the title of this post has almost nothing to do with it’s content and to be honest I never know what to actually call these things. Sometimes it is just some utterly in-creative jibber jabber like above; sometimes it is deep and sensual… the word “sensual” makes me uncomfortable.

I don’t really know what I wanted to come across with in this post, and didn’t want to do another stream of nothingness so we will see what happens.

It is a Saturday and I don’t have anything to do because I just had knee surgery on Tuesday. That was an experience and I learned painkillers can be fun and tiring and lead to me just saying I like people a lot. Apparently, I am a more loving and sentimental person on drugs.

I went on a bit of a country music trip thing in my drugged state of mind and now I have a playlist on my phone called “Yee Haw” with a stock image of a cowboy as the defining picture. I do not remember making said playlist.

I met a person and he’s cute.

I realized that I am useless when it comes to most social interaction (gasp) and I had a hummus and sims party with my best friend-who-im-not-sure-if-shes-my-best-friend-she-dosent-like-to-use-the-term-“best- friend”. Well nonetheless, I had a hummus and sims party with a close compodre of mine last night and it was the pinnacle of cool and hip 18-year-old Friday night behavior.

I have been listening to a mixture of old One Direction (slay me I like their music) and Panic! (is the “!” necessary?)  at the Disco for the past three days and it has been an emotional rollercoaster.

I am debating watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer and I think I am going to start after I am done writing this shitstorm.

I am going to see Alessia Cara on November 2nd with my mum and am super excited. I don’t usually like concerts because like there’s a lot of people and screaming and confusion but she is playing a fairly small venue and I think my small introverted and anxious self will be okay. Plus, she just seems chill and cool and such so yay.

Oh, god I went to a 5 Seconds of Summer (kind of like a more rock/punk Australian version of One Direction) concert a couple of summers ago because my aunt didn’t want to go so I had to chaperone my cousin and her bitchy friend. That was my personal hell filled with pre-pubescent girls’ unwarranted screaming. For example, the MUSIC VIDEO for one of their older songs came on and I swear they all collectively got exorcized. My ears were ringing for the next two hours. And it was an outdoor venue. Somewhere for the screams to dissipate into. Yeesh.

Wow I really suck at transitions.

I don’t know what else to bore you poor souls with.

How about some shitty pickup lines from Google?

Yes. Good plan.

 

“Damn Girl is your name Wi-Fi? Because I’m feeling a connection!”

 *rolls eyes; fucking millennials…*

“You are almost as hot as my mom.”

*what the actual eff*

“I might be ugly but I’ll treat you right!”

* 1) ME 2) small edit, it would be more like “I most definitely am ugly but I will treat you okay for the first month and then fall off the face of the earth because commitment issues.” *

Okay… that’s enough of that. It is just making me sad for the world.

FUCKING SAM SMITH YES SLAY MY EMOTIONS.

Sorry, my inner fangirl got out for a second. I try to keep her in a chest but she is growing opposable thumbs and can open the lock now when she isn’t scrambling to be the annoying little twit who writes way too much shitty fanfiction and is constantly typing “slay” and “yass” on celebrities Instagram pictures.

According to Microsoft Word 2016, “yass” is not a word. ADD TO DICTIONARY BISH.

Okay now I am typing to my word processing software and its time to go.

There’s a line and I just crossed it.

I will be in my shame hole if anyone needs me.

 

 

Bennett’s Donuts are the best.

Posted in comedy, idk.

Hello there, (young)adulthood.

And hello to you also, my blog.

Hope you had a nice day or a nice coffee or a nice foot fungus.

Whatever you day held, I hope it was nice.

My day consisted of work, moving sparkly pumpkins and sparkly banners and things covered in feathers that love to get lodged up my nose at various points in the day and some over-all grumpy customers.

Also there was a joke about the floor looking like a hickstown strip joint with feathers, hay and glitter dirtying the floor.

I have decided to check in again as I am currently in what one could describe as a “productive, type-y and bored” mood.

I started my first day of online college and i think it is going pretty well so far. Nothing seems too out-of-the-ordinary yet and I have spent $100 on |*theoretical* or, as normal people say, online textbooks already so that’s fun.

There was just a huge flock of tiny black birds that flew over the sky (or maybe they were colored, I don’t know.)

“A ginger a day keeps the doctor away” – a quote from my 6’2″ brother explaining pickled ginger, not my rare hair color.

google keeps auto-correcting “colour” LET MY CANADIAN NESS SHINE GOOGLE STOP OPPRESSING ME AND MY MAPLE-SYRUP-LOVING MOOSE FRIENDS.

I guess i should mention the crippling loneliness and lack of purpose i experienced this morning as my brother went; unwillingly, to his first day of grade 10.

I was so upset with the ungrateful little bugger not appreciating high school and how much easier it is than everything. What a  good time.

*ps i do not miss high school in a social sense; more of a “everything is kind of done for you all the time” sort of way.*

Posted in comedy, idk.

How to be a shitty blogger

Hello, its me the (nonexistant) owner of this blog.

This month, I decided to write a post on something I consider myself to be a bit of an expert in… How to be a shitty blogger.

The whole idea for this came about when (in a spurt of motivated boredom, I decided to open my WordPress app. To my surprise, I was greeted with a notification saying:

13839719_591869074326019_1710805390_o

.. Happy Anniversary

**I seriously am concerned for my future husband or wife as if this is any hint of me remembering important dates (5-year anniversaries or “big” birthdays) — the couch will become quite homey for me.**

Anyway, I forgot another anniversary.

Woo onto the post. (I still suck at transitions)

How to be a Shitty Blogger

STEP 1: Promise you will post on a “schedule” and fail miserably every single time due to you being a procrastinating dimwit who can’t even keep a succulent alive.

STEP 2: When you do write a post, make sure it is not funny or even a little bit structured.

STEP 3: When people say they actually liked your blog post from the other day or that they are an avid reader; look at them quizzically and ask “Why exactly do you do that to yourself?” and/or “You poor soul”

STEP 4: Continue to procrastinate as this is your one and only talent.

STEP 5: Get lonely sometimes and write sappy-ass emotional crap and throw it up on your blog for no other reason than to fill your ego. To make this step more effective; use phrases such as “sparks tingle up my spine”, “hands in her hair holding helplessly onto her image” or the good ol’ “Her eyes shine brighter than the New York City skyline.”

STEP 6: When you do write something, and it is not a huge piece of crap and actually gets published instead of being banished to the “My babies that died because they suck” folder; put an unnessceary unessesary  unnecessary amount of tags on it. Also post it on all of your barely followed social media accounts.

STEP 7: Have no clue how to spell unnecessary. (praise auto-correct)

STEP 8: Not know how to transition smoothly and instead put your inner dialogue in (brackets) or *asterisks*  to transport your readers down a gravel driveway into your next point.

 

CONGRATULATIONS.

Now you have the tools to be a really really bad blogger. Welcome to the club. Our meetings are on the 45th of every month, but nobody shows up because procrastination and empty promises are our ~aesthetic~

K Bye.

 

 

Posted in comedy, idk.

I have a walk in closet. I do not like this closet.

Hellooo!

I am bored and something occurred to me that I have not told my strange little corner of the internet.

I AM GAY.

Edit: BISEXUAL 

Wooooo *Rainbows and such*

Yes world, I am a girl who likes girls and boys

Well to be specific I am a Biromantic Homosexual. 

Edit: or just Bisexual 

This means that I am romantically attracted to both boys and girls but only want to “do dirty things” (wow I am literally 12) with girls.

Edit: maybe the right guy can “swing” me

Before you ask, no I have not kissed a girl but am incredibly open to it. I am just a social hobbit who even though I have this newfound sexuality (also not that newfound it’s been about two years in the making) I am still a social hobbit who spends her days sitting in bed watching YouTube and snuggling cats.

Sigh.

Anywhoozles I don’t really want to write about “how I know I am gay” edit: bisexual and such because I find it unnecessary I just know. I mean there were some things that happened leading up to me accepting the fact but those were pretty standard like I had a crush on one of my best (straight) friends and I then got my heart broken by a girl (different girl) and realized one of the biggest problems I have with guys is the fact that they… have an extra appendage… heh.

Edit: yeah this is still true

Yup so as usual I don’t know how to end this; big surprise there.

*realizes she hasn’t even told her father this news yet*

*contemplates life*

*remembers father is in other country and is not very accessible right now*

*to post or not to post?*

*laughs to self for above allusion to Hamlet*

*pats self on back*

*realizes she is typing to herself*

*kitten bites foot*

*realizes she should tell blog about kitten*

Hey I’m back I got said kitten from the last post I posted about an eon ago. She is a little devil. A cute devil. But still a devil.

img_1844

*I should probably mention prom*

Also, I went to prom and socialized like a normal 18-year old.

Prom was not really super fun for me and the after party was kind of a shitshow but I expected that. Spending time with my friends and getting to wear a pretty dress were good but I personally think “prom” as a whole is kind of overrated.

*such cynical*

I would’ve much rather just had my friends over and we could have sat around in our dresses and drank Phoebe-Monica-Rachel style.

200_s

Like this.

*still don’t know how to end*

*nope*

*googles how to end a blog post*

*all those ideas are shit*

*decided to just keep doing this weird inner thought thing*

*oooo*

*so much mystery*

*am I real or am I fake*

*what am i*

*how do you know this isn’t just a computer writing this*

*eek*

*no it’s just me sitting alone in my room ignoring my phone and all the socialization that comes with it*

*still a pretty shit typer*

*oh well*

K bye

*yes that will work*

Posted in comedy, tattoos

Hello 2016!

Okay so I know I’m a little bit late on the whole “Happy New Year” thing and all as it is January 2nd, BUT I’m still writing this within the first week and that’s a win in my book.

Anyway, I felt I have not written on here in a while and decided to check in. Some things have changed for me and I made some resolution-type things for 2016.

Let’s start with what I have been up to.

Well, I got a job. I’ll admit, its not my favorite place to be in the world all the time but my co-workers are funny and it isn’t a hard job. So yeah that’s a thing.

Next, (with my first paycheck from aforementioned job) I got my second tattoo. I have been planning it since I got my first one and I am totally in love. It is a peacock feather on my thigh. It flows with the muscle and makes my leg 100% more interesting than it was before. My other leg feels neglected now because it is not half as beautiful.

Fun Fact: My legs are my favorite part of my body. Cellulite and all.

Now, onto the “resolutions” for 2016 I made for myself.

  1. As always, to try my very best to not go completely insane one day and become so possessed by anger that I become some sort of redheaded gorilla and attack a city.
  2. Write more.
  3. Graduate High school.
  4. Change; just a little bit. (I know I will do this, it happens every year.)
  5. Maybe find a boy to hypnotize and drug so he will fall in love with my beautiful monkey of a self and become my boyfriend. (There’s always got to be a completely unattainable one — I will be just as single next year as I am now.) *Laugh-cries*
  6. Snuggle my cats against their free will more.
  7. Idk do something cool.

I think that is a pretty extensive list.

Here is a picture of my tattoo.

IMG_7898.JPG

I took this on the night I got it so it is red and puffy here. Still quite swollen, but ain’t it pretty?

It hurt like a bitch. (I’ve never understood that phrase, like what does it mean “Hurt like a bitch”? Do women hurt really bad all the time? Did a female dog bite some guy and then a couple weeks later his wife left him so he was like “wow, this hurts like a bitch”? Who knows….)

Fun little story, while I was getting the beautiful tattoo up there, It hurt really bad (especially on the side of my leg) and there’s something wrong with me so I deal with extreme pain (and extreme anger) by giggling uncontrollably. It is a problem. Anyway, while I was in immense pain, I began to giggle and I could tell that my tattoo artist, Roger, was probably thinking *What the hell is this girls damage? Is having needles jammed into her skin thousands of times a minute somehow enjoyable for her? Does she like pain? Is she a Satan worshipper? She has red hair, so it would make sense…* In reality, none of this went through his head at all, but that’s what my anxious brain produced for the situation.

I never know how to end these stupid things.

Goodbye!

no, I use that too much.

So, that’s it!

nope.

bfhdfn efuowe hep

what the hell is that?

Wherever you are have a nice night. Ill see you guys next time!

there is so much wrong with this one. you are a blogger, you never”see” your readers. and if you did it would not be “you guys” it would be one person, you narcissist.

Oh eff it, just bye.

a little aggressive, but okay.

STUFF YOU SHOULD LOOK AT:

Tattoo Artist (Roger)

https://www.facebook.com/Lords-Ink-Canada-233836682474/?fref=ts

… yeah that’s all I got for you