Hey guys, I’ve really missed writing. My life has been so crazy busy lately I just don’t have the time. But tonight I was laying in my bed, scanning Buzzfeed as one does on a Sunday evening, and I came across this heart-wrenching article. Prepare to Cry.
There is an article within this article talking about Dear My Blank, a tumblr blog that lets people write a letter to their exes, the deceased, anybody. Then, they are posted on the blog.
I thought this was a brilliant idea and wrote one to Link.
So here goes.
Hey. I don’t know if you will ever see this but I kind of hope you do. It’s your birthday today, and I have pretended to forget. It makes it less painful. Last year at this time you were mine, I was happy. Oh, you made me so happy. If you somehow are reading this, I still want to have my face on a lunchbox with yours. I want to rule the world with you. I want to talk about nothing for hours again. I would love to make plans to control the world’s minds using our quick wit. I miss you. Last year at this time we were awkward and beautiful. Our whole relationship was awkwardly beautiful. You are awkwardly beautiful. I remember that dimple on your temple every time I smile in the mirror and see two of my own staring back at me. There are so many things I miss about you. That bothers me.
Obvious I know. I don’t think anybody particularly likes missing someone, but what bothers me is not the missing, it’s that I know I don’t still love you but I still miss you. As a friend. I just miss talking.
Oh R, you know that every time I look down that bike trail we walked when we were still friends? I look at it and it makes me both sad and happy. I am sad because you aren’t with me anymore, but I am happy because I can still feel your laugh rippling through me and the sun beating down on my neck.
It hurts when I remember that you still talked to some of your other old girlfriends while we were dating. I hoped that if we ever did break up, I’d be one of those girls. Clearly I’m not. It’s been almost a year.
Sometimes I think of texting you. I’ve tried to talk, but you blocked me on Facebook and I deleted your number.
I have heard that you have a new girl now. I’ve heard that you dropped your friends for her. I’ve heard you are happy. Be careful R, I know you. I care about you. Friends are just as important as lovers. Remember that.
Anyway, this is getting lengthy.
I do not wish to become the person I was a year ago, I am in love with the me of 2015. I don’t want to turn back time, nor do I want to become your girlfriend again. I just want to be your friend.
Goodbye, I hope you are happy as a Hungarian Horntail on Halloween.
Okay it’s done now. I’m sorry if I bummed anybody out, but it was a good and emotional piece of writing. Naturally, I have to post it.
Also, I like sharing my life with the Internet. Every like and follower and view I get makes me so happy I can’t even put it into words, and I’m a writer.
Hello people, I am currently gettin’ ma Christmas on. I have tried to keep it in but, alas… The jolly thing reared its sparkly head.
I got some WHAM and Mariah Carey and a bit of Ariana Grande jammin’ and a fluffy old man sweater. Currently very content with life.
Anyway, I just wanted to check in and show you guys some stuff I’ve been doing.
This is a Roundel poem I wrote for writers craft.
Yes, I handed this exact poem in to be marked.
The Lonely Unicorn.
There once was a unicorn. He was a lonely dude.
Very sad, desolate, uncherished and forlorn.
He can seem kind of creepy, always being in a crappy mood.
There once was a unicorn.
Lady unicorns never stay long, no flame is born.
Doesn’t understand why, could it be all the tobacco he chewed?
Or maybe it was because he owned a lot of porn.
Poor unicorn quite bitter one Monday mood,
Hired a stripper, forgot to tip her, must mourn.
Sad, the poor filly, just 7 years old, already working her horn.
There once was a unicorn.
This is a speech for.. You guessed it. Writers Craft.
You’ve got a lovely everything. Ernest Hemingway
Hello. Best (wo)man here. That quote doesn’t actually mean anything but I was reading “How to Write a Wedding Toast” on wikihow and it said to open with an “Eloquent and moving reflection on marriage, love, or soul-binding. Check.
Next, I am supposed to compliment the bride. (Turn to bride) Ooops, I just read my own stage directions. Anyway, Bride, you look nothing like a potato on this day. You’re welcome.
I almost forgot! I am supposed to clarify who I am. Well, some of you might like to know that I actually dumped the groom in grade 10. Now I am the best (wo)man at his wedding. Yup. I don’t have a whole lot to do on Friday nights, as I am a social hobbit. I, being a proud broke-ass writer am not going to turn down some free food that is not actually that free, as it is going to put the lovely couple into 30 years of debt. Thanks, guys.
Now to get all sappy up in the hizz-house.
I remember when Joe came to me saying he met the girl of his dreams, and was not going to let her get away ever. I then smacked him and called him some choice words. I thought he was talking about me and he wanted me back. He was actually telling me about how he met Midi. I then turned as red as a tomato and handed him a bag of peas for his face. We sat down on my couch and I watched as his eyes lit up when he talked of her short blond hair and, I quote, “Cherub cheeks”. We laughed and he told me she is the one. He will marry her one day. I then called him creepy and cooked the now thawed peas from his face.
Now for a cheesy clincher to end this thing. I would like to make a toast to lying, stealing, cheating and drinking.
If you’re going to lie, lie for a friend. If you’re going to steal, steal a heart. If you’re going to cheat, cheat death. And if you’re going to drink, drink with me.
ANYWHOO, I think we are pretty much done here. Hopefully this will keep you entertained for a while.
So I was just looking through my old blog and it made me emotional.
I was so cute and my writing was so bad.. I am not surprised nobody read that thing..
In a year from now I will look back at what I am writing now and think to myself “Why Alicia Why!” – I just know it.
Have you ever thought of what you will be like in a year or five? I do all the time.
I also look back to what I was like in the past years.
For example… Two years ago on November 2nd 2013… I had long red hair, no tattoo (and not even thinking about it), I cared a little too much about what others thought of me and I had been dating Joe for a whole day (Strange, little grade 10 me was probably in a euphoric state at this time, 1st boyfriend and all), I had no blog *gasp* and the 2015 Alicia typing away furiously on her computer right now wasn’t even something I had begun to think of yet. I didn’t know all the incredible mistakes I would make. I didn’t know what Joe would teach me just 3 months from then. I definitely did not think that Joe and I (after not talking for two years) would be perfectly happy as friends working in the school library together. I was so different, I have trouble remembering what that version of me was.
Last year on November 2nd 2014, I was in love with a boy who I now call Link. I still had no tattoo (it was now in planning), long hair, I had abandoned my blog pretty much (sorry) and I was just a little grade 11 dating her first love. My friends were probably sick and tired from my constant blabber on how “cute” and “perfect” Link was by this point, and I think I wanted to be an Editor when I grew up. Grade 12 was a terrifying, and all too close, thought always sitting at the back of my mind -but now it’s not so bad. I may have thought being with Link was me at my best and happiest, but now I don’t think it was. Now is.
Who knows? Maybe next year, I will be happier or horrible. I could be working at a Library (#goals), with a new leg tattoo (if that doesn’t happen by next year in November I will probably cry), My best friends will be off to college and university – hopefully having the best time and I will be writing hopefully. Maybe I’ll even have a boyfriend (lol).
Anyway, looking through my old blog made me reminisce.. and I have picked some of my favourite posts from the old blog and I’ll link them.
*realizes she probably didn’t tell blog she was going anywhere*
Well, I have been in Cuba for the past week, and it was 1) hot and 2) fun
There. That’s all you get.
You get a little thing I wrote called “Airport Diaries.”
I have written a few short thoughts on my airport “adventures” today as I attempt to travel from Varadero, Cuba back to the homeland (Canada
Arrival at Airport: 11:30 am (ish) Oct 30/15:
I can’t wait to get back to Canada!! Only 45 minutes until boarding!!! YAAAS COLD WEATHER HERE I COME
Upon hearing that our plane was going to be 1h 45m late:
It’ll be fine…. It’s only like an hour and a half which is like 3 episodes of How I Met Your Mother.. I’ll be fine
5 minutes later, when I heard our plane was leaving at 6:40 pm (our original depart time was 2:00 pm) :
1 hour into waiting:
I gots me my music, my slightly edible airport sammich and 3 seats to stretch out on.. I’ll just sleep!! It’s a foolproof plan!
2 hours into waiting:
Okay so the sleeping thing didn’t exactly work well… I “napped” for 10 minutes and then my spine was twisted in ways it should not. Also, I think I have a bruise somewhere. The more I nibble at this sandwich, the less and less appetizing it gets
4 hours into waiting:
Oh look at that! Our plane is going to be coming at 7:20 now!! Joy of joys.
THE F$@KING PLANE. JUST OUTSIDE. YAAAAAAS. *everyone waiting for said plane in airport collectively flips their shit*
I have to pee. (Goes to pee, gets yelled at by Cuban bathroom cleaner… Refuses to make eye contact with her again) Welp, peeing went well.
5 minutes later:
Now we have to move terminals.
2 seconds later:
oh yeah I forgot we have to go to the OTHER end of Cuba to pick up more people. That is an extra hour flight with 40 mins waiting at the airport
Leaving second airport:
OKAY actually going home now! Hopefully nothing goes wrong during the next 3 hours + ow my stupid knee popped.
1 hour and a bit into flight:
Turbulence, Great. Now I’m going to die
12:18 AM Halloween Day (Oct 31st/15) :
oh look I’m still flying and my ass hurts. I am fairly sure that the seat and my butt have amalgamated to become one thing at this point.
45 minutes left of flight:
Still can’t feel my butt, yet HOME IS SOON – this makes it all ok. Then, customs. (Yay) Also, my foot is either completely gone or it is very asleep. *checks foot* yup it’s still there! We all good. (It’s been a long day, do not judge me)
My mental state at 10 minutes until landing:
I. Hate. Travelling. I am going to go home and hide in my bed. I am becoming a burrito person. Goodbye society.
*last minute addition: I drew this for 2 hours at the airport… SO BORED.*
Anyway, In other news… I was in Michaels today with my Mumsy, buying brown paper bags as one does… and I couldn’t help but notice a jolly twinkling pestering at my eardrums. Christmas music was ALREADY being played. Like, seriously. Also, the store smelled of cinnamon and pine.
As I turned and took in my surroundings more thoroughly, my eyes were assaulted with various Christmas decorations. There was red and green sparkles, fat Santa bellies, and reindeer staring me down with black, judging eyes.
I was both excited and terrified all at the same time.
Halloween was Yesterday people. Yesterday. Calm your Christmas.