Posted in "travel blog", comedy

Hellooooo!

Hi Blog. I’m home.

*realizes she probably didn’t tell blog she was going anywhere*

Well, I have been in Cuba for the past week, and it was 1) hot and 2) fun

There. That’s all you get.

Joking….

You get a little thing I wrote called “Airport Diaries.”

I have written a few short thoughts on my airport “adventures” today as I attempt to travel from Varadero, Cuba back to the homeland (Canada
Arrival at Airport: 11:30 am (ish) Oct 30/15:
I can’t wait to get back to Canada!! Only 45 minutes until boarding!!! YAAAS COLD WEATHER HERE I COME
Upon hearing that our plane was going to be 1h 45m late:
It’ll be fine…. It’s only like an hour and a half which is like 3 episodes of How I Met Your Mother.. I’ll be fine
5 minutes later, when I heard our plane was leaving at 6:40 pm (our original depart time was 2:00 pm) :
just no.
1 hour into waiting:
I gots me my music, my slightly edible airport sammich and 3 seats to stretch out on.. I’ll just sleep!! It’s a foolproof plan! 
2 hours into waiting:
Okay so the sleeping thing didn’t exactly work well… I “napped” for 10 minutes and then my spine was twisted in ways it should not. Also, I think I have a bruise somewhere. The more I nibble at this sandwich, the less and less appetizing it gets
4 hours into waiting:
Oh look at that! Our plane is going to be coming at 7:20 now!! Joy of joys.
5 hours:
THE F$@KING PLANE. JUST OUTSIDE. YAAAAAAS. *everyone waiting for said plane in airport collectively flips their shit*
I have to pee. (Goes to pee, gets yelled at by Cuban bathroom cleaner… Refuses to make eye contact with her again) Welp, peeing went well.
5 minutes later:
Now we have to move terminals.
Boarding plane:
FINALLY HOMEBOUND!
2 seconds later:
oh yeah I forgot we have to go to the OTHER end of Cuba to pick up more people. That is an extra hour flight with 40 mins waiting at the airport
 
Leaving second airport:
OKAY actually going home now! Hopefully nothing goes wrong during the next 3 hours + ow my stupid knee popped.
1 hour and a bit into flight:
Turbulence, Great. Now I’m going to die
12:18 AM Halloween Day (Oct 31st/15) :
oh look I’m still flying and my ass hurts. I am fairly sure that the seat and my butt have amalgamated to become one thing at this point.
45 minutes left of flight:
Still can’t feel my butt, yet HOME IS SOON – this makes it all ok. Then, customs. (Yay) Also, my foot is either completely gone or it is very asleep. *checks foot* yup it’s still there! We all good. (It’s been a long day, do not judge me)
 
My mental state at 10 minutes until landing:
I. Hate. Travelling. I am going to go home and hide in my bed. I am becoming a burrito person. Goodbye society.

*last minute addition: I drew this for 2 hours at the airport… SO BORED.*

  

Anyway, In other news… I was in Michaels today with my Mumsy, buying brown paper bags as one does… and I couldn’t help but notice a jolly twinkling pestering at my eardrums. Christmas music was ALREADY being played. Like, seriously. Also, the store smelled of cinnamon and pine.

As I turned and took in my surroundings more thoroughly, my eyes were assaulted with various Christmas decorations. There was red and green sparkles, fat Santa bellies, and reindeer staring me down with black, judging eyes.

I was both excited and terrified all at the same time.

Halloween was Yesterday people. Yesterday. Calm your Christmas.

Now, for some pictures from Cuba.

Bye! Alicia (your still-pale-as-a-ghost-even-though-she-was-just-in-a-tropical-paradise overlord.)

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My gourmet “we’re-sorry-your-plane-was-delayed-6-hours” lunch at the Cuba airport…
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Me!
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View from hotel room
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Pigs I bought. (Don’t judge me!)
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Inside of hotel from top floor. Yes, those are vines.
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Beach
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Beach with feet.

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