Today, I am going to make small sarcastic and maybe funny answers to the following writing “prompts” that I found on the vast space we call Google.
Maybe this will become a series.
- Outside the Window: What’s the weather outside your window doing right now?
It is cold. It is Canada. It sucks. However, Donald Trump isn’t my president so I’ll take Canada and its desolate pre-winter any day.
- The Unrequited love poem:How do you feel when you love someone who does not love you back?
I am single.
I have unrequited love.
No, it is not an STI
You need to have sex to get one of those
I am single
- The Vessel:Write about a ship or another vehicle that can take you somewhere different from where you are now.
I am going to take a bus later. Busses are warm. I could be cliché and compare a bus to a warm hug; but I wouldn’t know. I don’t hug.
- Dancing:Who’s dancing and why are they tapping those toes?
I am dancing because there is a catchy song on. I am dancing with my cat. I am alone.
- Food:What’s for breakfast? Dinner? Lunch? Or maybe you could write a poem about that time you met a friend at a cafe.
I met a friend at a café once.
She was beautiful.
Golden-Yellow and Crunchy.
I ate her.
She was a Lemon-Coconut-Cranberry Bar.
I am not a cannibal I just don’t have any friends.
- Eye Contact:Write about two people seeing each other for the first time.
AAH. Eye contact is terrifying. Intimacy is terrifying. I wonder if they will notice If I just start staring at their nose. Oh; they have freckles that’s cute. Are they still staring at me? I should probably try to look in their eyes. Oh no. Oh no. Mayday Abort Mission. Nope I am not ready for this yet I am a useless lump who cannot be intimate for shit. Help.
- The Rocket-ship:Write about a rocket-ship on it’s way to the moon or a distant galaxy far, far, away.
HAHAHHA bye bitches. Crap, my ass fell off. Oh, god there go my arms. Now I am nothing but a space grape floating in… well, space. Hey maybe we can go to the moon. I heard it was made of cheese, maybe a nice cheddar or mozzarella. I could really go for some cheese right now I am emotional my ass is gone.
- Dream-catcher: Write something inspired by a recent dream you had.
Nothingness. BUT if I know my brain it had something to do with food or sexy times. Maybe even at the same time. Hmm… Onion rings…
- Animals:Choose an animal. Write about it!
There is a cat. It is floofy.
- Friendship:Write about being friends with someone.
I like having friends they make me less lonely.