Uncreative Writing Prompt Answers.

Today, I am going to make small sarcastic and maybe funny answers to the following writing “prompts” that I found on the vast space we call Google.

Get Ready.

Maybe this will become a series.

1. Outside the Window: What’s the weather outside your window doing right now?

It is cold. It is Canada. It sucks. However, Donald Trump isn’t my president so I’ll take Canada and its desolate pre-winter any day.

2. The Unrequited love poem:How do you feel when you love someone who does not love you back?

I am single.

I have unrequited love.

No, it is not an STI

You need to have sex to get one of those

I am single

3. The Vessel:Write about a ship or another vehicle that can take you somewhere different from where you are now.

I am going to take a bus later. Busses are warm. I could be cliché and compare a bus to a warm hug; but I wouldn’t know. I don’t hug.

4. Dancing:Who’s dancing and why are they tapping those toes?

I am dancing because there is a catchy song on. I am dancing with my cat. I am alone.

5. Food:What’s for breakfast? Dinner? Lunch? Or maybe you could write a poem about that time you met a friend at a cafe.

I met a friend at a café once.

She was beautiful.

Golden-Yellow and Crunchy.

Cranberries Shining.

I ate her.

She was a Lemon-Coconut-Cranberry Bar.

I am not a cannibal I just don’t have any friends.

6. Eye Contact:Write about two people seeing each other for the first time.

AAH. Eye contact is terrifying. Intimacy is terrifying. I wonder if they will notice If I just start staring at their nose. Oh; they have freckles that’s cute. Are they still staring at me? I should probably try to look in their eyes. Oh no. Oh no. Mayday Abort Mission. Nope I am not ready for this yet I am a useless lump who cannot be intimate for shit. Help.

7. The Rocket-ship:Write about a rocket-ship on it’s way to the moon or a distant galaxy far, far, away.

HAHAHHA bye bitches. Crap, my ass fell off. Oh, god there go my arms. Now I am nothing but a space grape floating in… well, space. Hey maybe we can go to the moon. I heard it was made of cheese, maybe a nice cheddar or mozzarella. I could really go for some cheese right now I am emotional my ass is gone.

8. Dream-catcher: Write something inspired by a recent dream you had.

Nothingness. BUT if I know my brain it had something to do with food or sexy times. Maybe even at the same time. Hmm… Onion rings…

9. Animals:Choose an animal. Write about it!

There is a cat. It is floofy.

10. Friendship:Write about being friends with someone.

I like having friends they make me less lonely.

Flibbertyniblets and the Rainbow Pizza

Hello and I just want to let you know that the title of this post has almost nothing to do with it’s content and to be honest I never know what to actually call these things. Sometimes it is just some utterly in-creative jibber jabber like above; sometimes it is deep and sensual… the word “sensual” makes me uncomfortable.

I don’t really know what I wanted to come across with in this post, and didn’t want to do another stream of nothingness so we will see what happens.

It is a Saturday and I don’t have anything to do because I just had knee surgery on Tuesday. That was an experience and I learned painkillers can be fun and tiring and lead to me just saying I like people a lot. Apparently, I am a more loving and sentimental person on drugs.

I went on a bit of a country music trip thing in my drugged state of mind and now I have a playlist on my phone called “Yee Haw” with a stock image of a cowboy as the defining picture. I do not remember making said playlist.

I met a person and he’s cute.

I realized that I am useless when it comes to most social interaction (gasp) and I had a hummus and sims party with my best friend-who-im-not-sure-if-shes-my-best-friend-she-dosent-like-to-use-the-term-“best- friend”. Well nonetheless, I had a hummus and sims party with a close compodre of mine last night and it was the pinnacle of cool and hip 18-year-old Friday night behavior.

I have been listening to a mixture of old One Direction (slay me I like their music) and Panic! (is the “!” necessary?)  at the Disco for the past three days and it has been an emotional rollercoaster.

I am debating watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer and I think I am going to start after I am done writing this shitstorm.

I am going to see Alessia Cara on November 2^nd with my mum and am super excited. I don’t usually like concerts because like there’s a lot of people and screaming and confusion but she is playing a fairly small venue and I think my small introverted and anxious self will be okay. Plus, she just seems chill and cool and such so yay.

Oh, god I went to a 5 Seconds of Summer (kind of like a more rock/punk Australian version of One Direction) concert a couple of summers ago because my aunt didn’t want to go so I had to chaperone my cousin and her bitchy friend. That was my personal hell filled with pre-pubescent girls’ unwarranted screaming. For example, the MUSIC VIDEO for one of their older songs came on and I swear they all collectively got exorcized. My ears were ringing for the next two hours. And it was an outdoor venue. Somewhere for the screams to dissipate into. Yeesh.

Wow I really suck at transitions.

I don’t know what else to bore you poor souls with.

How about some shitty pickup lines from Google?

Yes. Good plan.

 

“Damn Girl is your name Wi-Fi? Because I’m feeling a connection!”

 *rolls eyes; fucking millennials…*

“You are almost as hot as my mom.”

*what the actual eff*

“I might be ugly but I’ll treat you right!”

* 1) ME 2) small edit, it would be more like “I most definitely am ugly but I will treat you okay for the first month and then fall off the face of the earth because commitment issues.” *

Okay… that’s enough of that. It is just making me sad for the world.

FUCKING SAM SMITH YES SLAY MY EMOTIONS.

Sorry, my inner fangirl got out for a second. I try to keep her in a chest but she is growing opposable thumbs and can open the lock now when she isn’t scrambling to be the annoying little twit who writes way too much shitty fanfiction and is constantly typing “slay” and “yass” on celebrities Instagram pictures.

According to Microsoft Word 2016, “yass” is not a word. ADD TO DICTIONARY BISH.

Okay now I am typing to my word processing software and its time to go.

There’s a line and I just crossed it.

I will be in my shame hole if anyone needs me.

 

 

Bennett’s Donuts are the best.