Posted in prompts suck

Uncreative Writing Prompt Answers.

Today, I am going to make small sarcastic and maybe funny answers to the following writing “prompts” that I found on the vast space we call Google.

Get Ready.

Maybe this will become a series.

  1. Outside the Window: What’s the weather outside your window doing right now?

It is cold. It is Canada. It sucks. However, Donald Trump isn’t my president so I’ll take Canada and its desolate pre-winter any day.

  1. The Unrequited love poem:How do you feel when you love someone who does not love you back?

I am single.

I have unrequited love.

No, it is not an STI

You need to have sex to get one of those

I am single

  1. The Vessel:Write about a ship or another vehicle that can take you somewhere different from where you are now.

I am going to take a bus later. Busses are warm. I could be cliché and compare a bus to a warm hug; but I wouldn’t know. I don’t hug.

  1. Dancing:Who’s dancing and why are they tapping those toes?

I am dancing because there is a catchy song on. I am dancing with my cat. I am alone.

  1. Food:What’s for breakfast? Dinner? Lunch? Or maybe you could write a poem about that time you met a friend at a cafe.

I met a friend at a café once.

She was beautiful.

Golden-Yellow and Crunchy.

Cranberries Shining.

I ate her.

She was a Lemon-Coconut-Cranberry Bar.

I am not a cannibal I just don’t have any friends.

  1. Eye Contact:Write about two people seeing each other for the first time.

AAH. Eye contact is terrifying. Intimacy is terrifying. I wonder if they will notice If I just start staring at their nose. Oh; they have freckles that’s cute. Are they still staring at me? I should probably try to look in their eyes. Oh no. Oh no. Mayday Abort Mission. Nope I am not ready for this yet I am a useless lump who cannot be intimate for shit. Help.

  1. The Rocket-ship:Write about a rocket-ship on it’s way to the moon or a distant galaxy far, far, away.

HAHAHHA bye bitches. Crap, my ass fell off. Oh, god there go my arms. Now I am nothing but a space grape floating in… well, space. Hey maybe we can go to the moon. I heard it was made of cheese, maybe a nice cheddar or mozzarella. I could really go for some cheese right now I am emotional my ass is gone.

  1. Dream-catcher: Write something inspired by a recent dream you had.

Nothingness. BUT if I know my brain it had something to do with food or sexy times. Maybe even at the same time. Hmm… Onion rings…

  1. Animals:Choose an animal. Write about it!

There is a cat. It is floofy.

  1. Friendship:Write about being friends with someone.

I like having friends they make me less lonely.

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Posted in comedy, idk.

I have a walk in closet. I do not like this closet.

Hellooo!

I am bored and something occurred to me that I have not told my strange little corner of the internet.

I AM GAY.

Edit: BISEXUAL 

Wooooo *Rainbows and such*

Yes world, I am a girl who likes girls and boys

Well to be specific I am a Biromantic Homosexual. 

Edit: or just Bisexual 

This means that I am romantically attracted to both boys and girls but only want to “do dirty things” (wow I am literally 12) with girls.

Edit: maybe the right guy can “swing” me

Before you ask, no I have not kissed a girl but am incredibly open to it. I am just a social hobbit who even though I have this newfound sexuality (also not that newfound it’s been about two years in the making) I am still a social hobbit who spends her days sitting in bed watching YouTube and snuggling cats.

Sigh.

Anywhoozles I don’t really want to write about “how I know I am gay” edit: bisexual and such because I find it unnecessary I just know. I mean there were some things that happened leading up to me accepting the fact but those were pretty standard like I had a crush on one of my best (straight) friends and I then got my heart broken by a girl (different girl) and realized one of the biggest problems I have with guys is the fact that they… have an extra appendage… heh.

Edit: yeah this is still true

Yup so as usual I don’t know how to end this; big surprise there.

*realizes she hasn’t even told her father this news yet*

*contemplates life*

*remembers father is in other country and is not very accessible right now*

*to post or not to post?*

*laughs to self for above allusion to Hamlet*

*pats self on back*

*realizes she is typing to herself*

*kitten bites foot*

*realizes she should tell blog about kitten*

Hey I’m back I got said kitten from the last post I posted about an eon ago. She is a little devil. A cute devil. But still a devil.

img_1844

*I should probably mention prom*

Also, I went to prom and socialized like a normal 18-year old.

Prom was not really super fun for me and the after party was kind of a shitshow but I expected that. Spending time with my friends and getting to wear a pretty dress were good but I personally think “prom” as a whole is kind of overrated.

*such cynical*

I would’ve much rather just had my friends over and we could have sat around in our dresses and drank Phoebe-Monica-Rachel style.

200_s

Like this.

*still don’t know how to end*

*nope*

*googles how to end a blog post*

*all those ideas are shit*

*decided to just keep doing this weird inner thought thing*

*oooo*

*so much mystery*

*am I real or am I fake*

*what am i*

*how do you know this isn’t just a computer writing this*

*eek*

*no it’s just me sitting alone in my room ignoring my phone and all the socialization that comes with it*

*still a pretty shit typer*

*oh well*

K bye

*yes that will work*