Posted in idk., News, prompts suck

Turn it around.

Hello there, I’m back and bored.

I want to write but all my posts are usually shit and I do not have any more ideas. I want to “turn this blog around dammit” but I have no content and to be honest, I like to complain to the internet about my useless problems.

So here I am trying to write a coherent blog post that is not only funny but witty and well thought out.

(this is improbable knowing my brain)

impossible*

Yesterday was Valentine’s Day. I did not write one of my usual “love sucks” posts dumping and shitting on everything  good and holy as I traditionally do. To be honest (again) I do not really hate the whole idea of Valentines and love and such anymore. I am trying to be a more positive person so yeah it’s not so bad.

Also, I kind-of-but-not-really have a “person” who makes me happy.

Valentines Day is still kind of stupid in the expensive gifts and social constructs that surround the day, but nonetheless I enjoy the puns and excessive amount of discounted candy on February 15.

*new topic being poorly transitioned into* I am in the library again. Surprise.

There is a book on the large print shelf to my left that is by a person named DICK WOLF and it is in big white letters (times new roman font looking) with a black background and I am 12 so every time I look at it in my peripheral vision I giggle a little.

I want cake.

Gooey, ooey chocolate cake filled with cherries and no icing just the way I like it.

Oh god I know what my plans are tonight now, I am going to make a cake and eat probably half of it in one sitting while watching… something. Also my cat will be there.

I would be an awesome wife I would make boredom craving cakes all the time. Wife me.

I don’t really want to post this because it is also sort of shit but oh well here we go.

BYE..

 

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Posted in prompts suck

Uncreative Writing Prompt Answers.

Today, I am going to make small sarcastic and maybe funny answers to the following writing “prompts” that I found on the vast space we call Google.

Get Ready.

Maybe this will become a series.

  1. Outside the Window: What’s the weather outside your window doing right now?

It is cold. It is Canada. It sucks. However, Donald Trump isn’t my president so I’ll take Canada and its desolate pre-winter any day.

  1. The Unrequited love poem:How do you feel when you love someone who does not love you back?

I am single.

I have unrequited love.

No, it is not an STI

You need to have sex to get one of those

I am single

  1. The Vessel:Write about a ship or another vehicle that can take you somewhere different from where you are now.

I am going to take a bus later. Busses are warm. I could be cliché and compare a bus to a warm hug; but I wouldn’t know. I don’t hug.

  1. Dancing:Who’s dancing and why are they tapping those toes?

I am dancing because there is a catchy song on. I am dancing with my cat. I am alone.

  1. Food:What’s for breakfast? Dinner? Lunch? Or maybe you could write a poem about that time you met a friend at a cafe.

I met a friend at a café once.

She was beautiful.

Golden-Yellow and Crunchy.

Cranberries Shining.

I ate her.

She was a Lemon-Coconut-Cranberry Bar.

I am not a cannibal I just don’t have any friends.

  1. Eye Contact:Write about two people seeing each other for the first time.

AAH. Eye contact is terrifying. Intimacy is terrifying. I wonder if they will notice If I just start staring at their nose. Oh; they have freckles that’s cute. Are they still staring at me? I should probably try to look in their eyes. Oh no. Oh no. Mayday Abort Mission. Nope I am not ready for this yet I am a useless lump who cannot be intimate for shit. Help.

  1. The Rocket-ship:Write about a rocket-ship on it’s way to the moon or a distant galaxy far, far, away.

HAHAHHA bye bitches. Crap, my ass fell off. Oh, god there go my arms. Now I am nothing but a space grape floating in… well, space. Hey maybe we can go to the moon. I heard it was made of cheese, maybe a nice cheddar or mozzarella. I could really go for some cheese right now I am emotional my ass is gone.

  1. Dream-catcher: Write something inspired by a recent dream you had.

Nothingness. BUT if I know my brain it had something to do with food or sexy times. Maybe even at the same time. Hmm… Onion rings…

  1. Animals:Choose an animal. Write about it!

There is a cat. It is floofy.

  1. Friendship:Write about being friends with someone.

I like having friends they make me less lonely.

Posted in Tattoo Ideas

Daisies and Dunebuggies

*To dad: So as you know, I wrote a blog post for mum for Mother’s Day and nothing for you on Father’s Day or your Birthday and I feel super guilty about it, so here is your Birthday/Father’s Day post. Love you, Lici :)*

Okay so if any of you have been reading this blog for a while, you’ll know I got my first tattoo in April and I can say I AM TOTALLY ADDICTED. So naturally, being the tattoo-addict-in-training that I am, I am constantly thinking of new tattoo ideas. In fact, I have a Pinterest board (all I use Pinterest for basically), a note in my phone, and an album on both my laptop and my phone of pictures of future tattoo ideas/ tattoos and artists I like. My Instagram feed is basically tattoos, cats, unattainable fashion goals because I have no money, and YouTubers. I have an exciting life as you can tell.

Today I was riding in my dad’s Dunebuggy. What is a “Dunebuggy” you ask? Well, traditionally it is a low, wide-wheeled motor vehicle for recreational driving on sand. (Or at least that’s what Google said it was.) BUT this is not the Dunebuggy I was whipping around in to do errands today. No-siree! I was being squished in the back of my dad’s Volkswagen-beetle-with-a-tree-growing-through-it turned awesome street-legal-window-and-door-missing-hand-built-older-than-I-am-Dunebuggy like thing that is red and we get a lot of compliments in.

***SIDE NOTE Since this Dunebuggy has no windows or doors, My hair gets blown around like the world’s most extreme blow dryer and it never looks effortlessly wind blown like a model or Beyoncé when I get out of it. No. Of course not. This is me. It looks more like (as my mum used to say) I had been dragged through a bush backwards. Attractive level is 0, and not ever rising.***

I will insert a picture here.

DUNEBUGGY

TA-DA!!

Anyway, back to the tattoo idea, got a little side tracked there.

Actually, before I tell you the rest of the story as to why I want this tattoo, I think I’ll tell you what it is even.

I was thinking to get a black, simple line drawing of the Dunebuggy from the side (like the picture above) with a wild daisy underneath it. As for placement, I would like to get it on the bottom half of my inner right arm right near the crease of my elbow so it “reads” horizontally when I show it to people.

Placement picture:

 11923061_474965822683012_1658245498_n

The (horribly crude) rectangle is roughly where the Dunebuggy would go and the (non-circular) circle is where the daisy would be. Again, very rough, drawing is not my specialty, and clearly neither is Geometry as I cannot draw a nice rectangle or a nice circle. Wonderful.

As for the “meaning” behind why I want this tattoo…

This Dunebuggy reminds me a lot of my dad obviously, as he built it and it has been something I associate with him since I was 2 or 3. It is a huge part of a lot of good memories I have, so naturally I want it tattooed on me so I can continue to make it a big part of my life.

The wild daisy is because apparently at the June Jitter Bug (It’s a real thing I swear) that my dad, me and my brother (and sometimes my mum) went to every year with the Dunebuggy (as it was once a bug). I liked to pick daisies. A lot. Like, it was the highlight of me going there (and the beanbag game that I sucked at but I was cute so the lady running it would help me win and then me, the 6-year-old girl would win the ultimate prize. Some super-duper car polish. Every 6-year-old’s dream right?) and I still remember making him drink his coke and find a puddle to then fill with water and let me put my flowers in it or make him buy me a whole new water bottle just for my flower — a whole $3 bottle of drinking water for my wilted flowers that would inevitably die if they were not dead already. Sometimes the flowers would just be thrown amongst the pops and juice boxes in the melted ice water, so we then had half-dead, frozen flowers. Woot Woot.

So here comes the end of another unnecessarily long post. Hope you enjoyed my erratic writing and random thoughts while I attempted to write a feasible blog post about a tattoo idea I had today. 754 words later, Bye!

LINKS

http://thefirstcolour98.blogspot.ca/2015/04/no-it-did-not-hurt.html FIRST TATTOO post on old, ancient blog.

http://johnsbugshop.com/car_show_info.htm The “Punch Buggy no punch backs are INSANE here*