Posted in comedy, lovey-dovey shit

Single Pringles

*fun fact* My favorite (aka the best and only one that should exist) Pringles flavor is Sour Cream and Onion, just like my dad!

Hello blog. If you know anything about me, you know that I am not the luckiest in the ways of *love*. I’m quite shit at it actually. I fall fast, I throw myself into people who don’t care half as much, and I generally just am clueless when it comes to the whole situation. The worst part of it all is that no matter how hard I try to push it down, I am a hopeless (in every sense of the word) romantic.

Yes, I love love. Or, the idea of it anyways…

This being said, I am also okay with being alone. Contradictory right?

Today, I got dumped-without-actually-dating-the-person-because-they-have-commitment-issues yet again. Third time around for me actually… This is not going to be a post bashing him and every minuscule fault he may have had though, I’m kinda tired of drama and reaching for exes – been there, done that

This post is going to be an ode to singularity, showcasing all the amazing and downright blissful sides of being “alone.”

First, let’s talk about the term “being alone” because if you are anything like me… being single and being alone are two very different things. Single is the absence of a romantic partner, while alone means having nobody. I am lucky enough to have a best friend who I love and I know she will probably never leave me and we will be old ladies living out our days in Squamish, BC. I also have an amazing group of friends aside from this one who help me with many different opinions and takes on how to handle life. I have my family, and most importantly I have two beautiful kitties (Lucy and Bean) to cry into when it gets hard.

Now for a list of some of the coolio things I love about being single.

  • Spend your damn money on you and only you. (with the exception of cats)
  • The whole bed
  • Dancing around your room in your pajamas to Single Ladies and believing every word. you could also do this at the club… you know if you have a social life.
  • Going exploring alone…
  • No anxious, self-doubting thoughts like “do they like me?” or “am i keeping them interested enough that they don’t want to cheat on me?”
  • Not having to plan when you’re going to see each other next.
  • Falling in love with things other than a significant other. who ever said it was pathetic to fall in love with a cupcake or the perfect reading chair?
  • Going to bookstores alone…
  • You can purely enjoy love stories in books and movies because you have nothing to compare it to, therefore not getting jealous and signing up for endless couples bonding activities to get you and your S.O. to peak “The Notebook” romance.
  • Focus on work. Actually.
  • You can be angry and not have to explain yourself… just be angry and brood for as long as you need with no “babe what did i do?” being asked at you only making you more angry
  • Not having to feel guilty for daydreaming about that cute girl with the orange eye shadow smiling at you on the bus, or the guy who reached for a book over your head in the library and you saw some skin..!
  • Being “casual” doesn’t mean you are less of a person, it’s okay to have some fun once and a while.
  • you.do.not.have.to.care.about.someone.else’s.feelings. (all the time.)

SO…!

Be happy being single, find things you take for granted when you are just you because in the blink of an eye, you will become a “them” (S.O.) and maybe even a “posse” (kids and S.O.)

ALicia.

 

 

Posted in idk., News, prompts suck

Turn it around.

Hello there, I’m back and bored.

I want to write but all my posts are usually shit and I do not have any more ideas. I want to “turn this blog around dammit” but I have no content and to be honest, I like to complain to the internet about my useless problems.

So here I am trying to write a coherent blog post that is not only funny but witty and well thought out.

(this is improbable knowing my brain)

impossible*

Yesterday was Valentine’s Day. I did not write one of my usual “love sucks” posts dumping and shitting on everything  good and holy as I traditionally do. To be honest (again) I do not really hate the whole idea of Valentines and love and such anymore. I am trying to be a more positive person so yeah it’s not so bad.

Also, I kind-of-but-not-really have a “person” who makes me happy.

Valentines Day is still kind of stupid in the expensive gifts and social constructs that surround the day, but nonetheless I enjoy the puns and excessive amount of discounted candy on February 15.

*new topic being poorly transitioned into* I am in the library again. Surprise.

There is a book on the large print shelf to my left that is by a person named DICK WOLF and it is in big white letters (times new roman font looking) with a black background and I am 12 so every time I look at it in my peripheral vision I giggle a little.

I want cake.

Gooey, ooey chocolate cake filled with cherries and no icing just the way I like it.

Oh god I know what my plans are tonight now, I am going to make a cake and eat probably half of it in one sitting while watching… something. Also my cat will be there.

I would be an awesome wife I would make boredom craving cakes all the time. Wife me.

I don’t really want to post this because it is also sort of shit but oh well here we go.

BYE..

 

Posted in comedy, idk., News

Let’s Break some Resolutions!

So.

It’s 2017.

I had started to write another post last year (hahhahaha) in 2016 about my new year’s resolutions and how my 2016 was. BUT I was just trying to finish it this morning in 2017 and it didn’t feel good so here I am writing a brand spankin new blog post for 2017, starting the year off right.

I am sick, and I spent my New Year’s Eve with friends, I’ll let you try and decipher if these “friends” were feline or not.  Hint: they were.

I did not kiss anyone again.

Surprise.

But anyway, let’s just get on to the resolutions that I am sure to break in this new year, probably within the first month.

  • Remember its 2017 now, and write the correct year on things.
  • Try not to become a mutant Godzilla-like thing and destroy a whole city.
  • Learn to drive. Get G2, time is running out, you only have three years left until your G1 expires.
  • Move out? Or become able to…
  • Anxiety controlling, because I was one of the seemingly millions of people who figured out they have anxiety in 2016. Now I have to figure out how to handle it.
  • Do well in school and enjoy learning.
  • Get in a Relationship? (lol)
  • Fall in Love with Everything I Can.

Now that that’s over, let’s see how I did with last year’s resolutions…

_________________________________________________________________

  1. As always, to try my very best to not go completely insane one day and become so possessed by anger that I become some sort of redheaded gorilla and attack a city.

Did I do? I think I can check this one off, I may have been a little crazy at points in 2016, but there was no gorilla-ing happening.

  1. Write more.

I think I did this one, I wrote and at least tried to be a good blog owner. Tried.

  1. Graduate High school.

Fuck yeah, I did this one, as commemorated by this horrid but like cute
picture my dad took of me accepting a random piece of paper that wasn’t even my diploma it was just paper.

GRADUATING.jpg

  1. Change; just a little bit. (I know I will do this, it happens every year.)

Yup.

  1. Maybe find a boy to hypnotize and drug so he will fall in love with my beautiful monkey of a self and become my boyfriend. (There’s always got to be a completely unattainable one — I will be just as single next year as I am now.) *Laugh-cries*

Working on it.

  1. Snuggle my cats against their free will more.

You know I did this one.

  1. Idk do something cool.

Yeah, I did some cool stuff in 2016.

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Anyway, I don’t know how to end this as usual, but thank you to anyone who read this blog at all in 2016, all three of you 😛