Posted in comedy, lovey-dovey shit

Single Pringles

*fun fact* My favorite (aka the best and only one that should exist) Pringles flavor is Sour Cream and Onion, just like my dad!

Hello blog. If you know anything about me, you know that I am not the luckiest in the ways of *love*. I’m quite shit at it actually. I fall fast, I throw myself into people who don’t care half as much, and I generally just am clueless when it comes to the whole situation. The worst part of it all is that no matter how hard I try to push it down, I am a hopeless (in every sense of the word) romantic.

Yes, I love love. Or, the idea of it anyways…

This being said, I am also okay with being alone. Contradictory right?

Today, I got dumped-without-actually-dating-the-person-because-they-have-commitment-issues yet again. Third time around for me actually… This is not going to be a post bashing him and every minuscule fault he may have had though, I’m kinda tired of drama and reaching for exes – been there, done that

This post is going to be an ode to singularity, showcasing all the amazing and downright blissful sides of being “alone.”

First, let’s talk about the term “being alone” because if you are anything like me… being single and being alone are two very different things. Single is the absence of a romantic partner, while alone means having nobody. I am lucky enough to have a best friend who I love and I know she will probably never leave me and we will be old ladies living out our days in Squamish, BC. I also have an amazing group of friends aside from this one who help me with many different opinions and takes on how to handle life. I have my family, and most importantly I have two beautiful kitties (Lucy and Bean) to cry into when it gets hard.

Now for a list of some of the coolio things I love about being single.

  • Spend your damn money on you and only you. (with the exception of cats)
  • The whole bed
  • Dancing around your room in your pajamas to Single Ladies and believing every word. you could also do this at the club… you know if you have a social life.
  • Going exploring alone…
  • No anxious, self-doubting thoughts like “do they like me?” or “am i keeping them interested enough that they don’t want to cheat on me?”
  • Not having to plan when you’re going to see each other next.
  • Falling in love with things other than a significant other. who ever said it was pathetic to fall in love with a cupcake or the perfect reading chair?
  • Going to bookstores alone…
  • You can purely enjoy love stories in books and movies because you have nothing to compare it to, therefore not getting jealous and signing up for endless couples bonding activities to get you and your S.O. to peak “The Notebook” romance.
  • Focus on work. Actually.
  • You can be angry and not have to explain yourself… just be angry and brood for as long as you need with no “babe what did i do?” being asked at you only making you more angry
  • Not having to feel guilty for daydreaming about that cute girl with the orange eye shadow smiling at you on the bus, or the guy who reached for a book over your head in the library and you saw some skin..!
  • Being “casual” doesn’t mean you are less of a person, it’s okay to have some fun once and a while.
  • you.do.not.have.to.care.about.someone.else’s.feelings. (all the time.)

SO…!

Be happy being single, find things you take for granted when you are just you because in the blink of an eye, you will become a “them” (S.O.) and maybe even a “posse” (kids and S.O.)

ALicia.

 

 

Posted in idk.

Fed up with Love Stories.

Yesterday was a great day. I came down to Jackson square with not a single idea in my head as to what I was going to do once I arrived. Soon after walking into the familiar “shopping centre” though, I found a Coles… In this Coles, I found a book. And in this book, I found a love story.

This particular love story was unfortunately not about me, no I did not wander around the bookshelves and some weirdly hot nerd came around and started chatting me up, no. I found a book called Everything, Everything by Nicola Yoon. Highly suggest reading this if you are also a sap like me.

SO, I bought this book (for only $10 – a steal) and got myself a juice and then settled into the cafeteria at the Jackson Square Nations (amazing grocery store btw). I started to read and soon got addicted to the characters and their story. I loved hearing about all the little things they found about each other and watching their romance form and grow. You see, I love unusual love stories. I don’t want to hear about two attractive people falling in love. And I especially do not want to read another story about the nerdy girl who suddenly takes her glasses off to go to the big school dance, and is suddenly an effing Victoria’s Secret model. This may attract other people but not me.

You see, I do not desire this kind of love and maybe (totally) that’s on me, and maybe you love hearing about attractive people fall for each other at football games. And that’s fine. It is just not for me. I want to hear about the weird girl and the shy guy who are total introvert/extrovert stereotypes getting together, I want to hear about the gay warlocks falling in love.

Now, for the point of this post, (there is one I swear) I was walking the YA (Young Adult) section of the Hamilton Public Library today and could not find a single book that was of interest to me as Everything, Everything was (finished this in 5 hours it was so good by the way). This made me sad. This made me question where I was going as a 19-year-old reader. I need to find a new genre. YA is just too cliché for me now and since I have been reading it (Twilight and all) since I was 12, this is in a new era of reading for me and I have no idea where to start.

I’ve scoured the internet for books and read all the blogs and even watched YouTube videos on books (BookTube) and cannot find anything. You see, along with not liking cliché romance, I also don’t like coming of age books (I find them far too cheesy and I need some romance in my life). And I especially do not like books about real world issues or girls being fat and bullied because this was not me and it just depresses me reading about slavery and such. This probably makes me a horrid person and I understand this but I read to escape, not to be dragged down.

Wow, I sound like an asshat.

Okay, I think it’s time to end this.

Going to go search for more books now.

Unsuccessfully.

Good luck reading this passionate mess of words.

Bye.

Alicia.

Posted in idk., News, prompts suck

Turn it around.

Hello there, I’m back and bored.

I want to write but all my posts are usually shit and I do not have any more ideas. I want to “turn this blog around dammit” but I have no content and to be honest, I like to complain to the internet about my useless problems.

So here I am trying to write a coherent blog post that is not only funny but witty and well thought out.

(this is improbable knowing my brain)

impossible*

Yesterday was Valentine’s Day. I did not write one of my usual “love sucks” posts dumping and shitting on everything  good and holy as I traditionally do. To be honest (again) I do not really hate the whole idea of Valentines and love and such anymore. I am trying to be a more positive person so yeah it’s not so bad.

Also, I kind-of-but-not-really have a “person” who makes me happy.

Valentines Day is still kind of stupid in the expensive gifts and social constructs that surround the day, but nonetheless I enjoy the puns and excessive amount of discounted candy on February 15.

*new topic being poorly transitioned into* I am in the library again. Surprise.

There is a book on the large print shelf to my left that is by a person named DICK WOLF and it is in big white letters (times new roman font looking) with a black background and I am 12 so every time I look at it in my peripheral vision I giggle a little.

I want cake.

Gooey, ooey chocolate cake filled with cherries and no icing just the way I like it.

Oh god I know what my plans are tonight now, I am going to make a cake and eat probably half of it in one sitting while watching… something. Also my cat will be there.

I would be an awesome wife I would make boredom craving cakes all the time. Wife me.

I don’t really want to post this because it is also sort of shit but oh well here we go.

BYE..

 

Posted in idk., sitting in..

Sitting in a Library part two.

Okay so a very long time ago in a land far,far away on my old Blogger blog, I wrote a fun little blurb on my adventures at my local library after I got my braces.

I had my big, noisy laptop and nervous tendencies… I listened to a lady sigh about 400,000 times and had tooth-hurty problems; coincidentally, around two-thirty in the afternoon. HAHHAH I am so funny, you missed me I know you did.

So, to set the scene for you, I am in the Terryberry branch of the Hamilton Public Library; sitting at a tall table facing away from the sunny window behind me beating on my back. I have been adjusting my laptop frequently so it remains hidden in my shadow.

A lady just walked by in a very short skirt… poor girl (it is currently two measly degrees in Hamilton and there is at least 5 inches of snow. Why are you wearing a mini skirt. I mean, you look cute and you do you boo boo but still; are you not freezing your literal ass off (the skirt is that short.)

Listening to some old P!nk and loving it; she needs to make another album that would be fab. If you somehow don’t know who she is, educate yourself and you will not be sorry.

Although, this is the internet and everyone has many opinions.

Very cute boy sitting at the couches across from my holier-than-thou height table. Very cute yes. Good job to his parents.

Oooo; aforementioned cute boy is engaging in a watch deal sort of thing. It’s like a weird drug deal but for a watch. A dude came from seemingly nowhere and just sat across from cute boy. Pleasantries were exchanged, and then down to the nitty-gritty of if said watch was indeed a good one. Leather is being inspected as we speak. Apparently this watch is a satisfactory specimen and money is now being exchanged; $60 Canadian. Cute boy has watch – is now texting someone and I am going to stop spying on him now the poor boy.

The sun is less bright now and i do not need to block my laptop from the brightness anymore.

So, let us do a little life update/ I have a plan section while I wait for something interesting to happen.

I have decided (kinda) that I think I want to move out of my mum’s Ancaster, small-town-shitty-bus-system, sub-urban home. I want to go from this to a room in Hamilton. Where buses run past 9 p.m. and people use the sidewalks.

AND I think I can do it too! So here is my plan:

  1. Get a Job in Hamilton. Preferably Part-Time with a lot of hours. I’ll even take Full-Time & do my online college stuff by night at this point.
  2. Make sure you can afford to Move Out. This is important as you do not want to live in a box on Main Street.
  3. Quit Dollarama.
  4. Work and save up money until May/June 2017.
  5. During the “saving up” phase of this plan, get what you will need to move out (sheets, bed, cutlery etc.)
  6. Look for rooms for rent around either Mohawk College or McMaster University -quiet, non partying students are preferred.
  7. Pet-Friendly for my Cats. Maybe. I have not decided on this fully yet.
  8. Move in and be Independent.

I doubt this will work but I at least want to try.

Saggy pants boy just walked by. I wonder if his heart is as sad as his butt looks; as it is neglected the warmth of pants.

Watch boy is now taking pictures of the watch he just bought. Making some arts y angles and even propping it on a book.

That is not what books are for, boy.

It has now been an hour and nothing new has happened. Cute watch boy left, there is a couple who are chattering lovingly on the couch now in front of me, a library worker just passed by, cart of books to be shelved in tow.

Hello, I am back, and now there are two very loud little kids being annoying and sitting on each other over and over again and screaming. I am never having kids. The mother, is also doing nothing. At all.

 

 

Okay so it is now a week after I initially wrote this and I feel as though I should post.

Happy Christmas, by the way.

 

Posted in prompts suck

Uncreative Writing Prompt Answers.

Today, I am going to make small sarcastic and maybe funny answers to the following writing “prompts” that I found on the vast space we call Google.

Get Ready.

Maybe this will become a series.

  1. Outside the Window: What’s the weather outside your window doing right now?

It is cold. It is Canada. It sucks. However, Donald Trump isn’t my president so I’ll take Canada and its desolate pre-winter any day.

  1. The Unrequited love poem:How do you feel when you love someone who does not love you back?

I am single.

I have unrequited love.

No, it is not an STI

You need to have sex to get one of those

I am single

  1. The Vessel:Write about a ship or another vehicle that can take you somewhere different from where you are now.

I am going to take a bus later. Busses are warm. I could be cliché and compare a bus to a warm hug; but I wouldn’t know. I don’t hug.

  1. Dancing:Who’s dancing and why are they tapping those toes?

I am dancing because there is a catchy song on. I am dancing with my cat. I am alone.

  1. Food:What’s for breakfast? Dinner? Lunch? Or maybe you could write a poem about that time you met a friend at a cafe.

I met a friend at a café once.

She was beautiful.

Golden-Yellow and Crunchy.

Cranberries Shining.

I ate her.

She was a Lemon-Coconut-Cranberry Bar.

I am not a cannibal I just don’t have any friends.

  1. Eye Contact:Write about two people seeing each other for the first time.

AAH. Eye contact is terrifying. Intimacy is terrifying. I wonder if they will notice If I just start staring at their nose. Oh; they have freckles that’s cute. Are they still staring at me? I should probably try to look in their eyes. Oh no. Oh no. Mayday Abort Mission. Nope I am not ready for this yet I am a useless lump who cannot be intimate for shit. Help.

  1. The Rocket-ship:Write about a rocket-ship on it’s way to the moon or a distant galaxy far, far, away.

HAHAHHA bye bitches. Crap, my ass fell off. Oh, god there go my arms. Now I am nothing but a space grape floating in… well, space. Hey maybe we can go to the moon. I heard it was made of cheese, maybe a nice cheddar or mozzarella. I could really go for some cheese right now I am emotional my ass is gone.

  1. Dream-catcher: Write something inspired by a recent dream you had.

Nothingness. BUT if I know my brain it had something to do with food or sexy times. Maybe even at the same time. Hmm… Onion rings…

  1. Animals:Choose an animal. Write about it!

There is a cat. It is floofy.

  1. Friendship:Write about being friends with someone.

I like having friends they make me less lonely.

Posted in idk.

Just some fun;

Hello and while i was working away at my online college library course today my professor recommended this little video and its just kind of adorable and i relate 100% that this is what i see when i step into a library.

and bonus; there is still plenty of sarcasm and self-deprecation so if you like this blog for some reason… you will love this poem.